"Windowless Pub - A Review"

A review of The Clachan Bar by East End Booze Bag written on Thursday 17th of May 2012

The Clachan is a quaint little pub situated at Barrachnie Cross in the suburb of Garrowhill. I visited the pub for the first time on Friday 9th May.

Upon reaching the bar I was approached by a dark-skinned barmaid who said, "Wit ye wantin?". There were many lagers on draft, including Tennents and Budweiser. I opted for a Tennents, which is the lager of choice in Scotlands central belt. The mahogany coloured lady poured me my drink which cost £2.85, a tad on the expensive side.

I took my seat and had a casual look around the lounge area. To my right were a group of smartly dressed men, who looked to be in their late 50s / early 60s. They each had a shirt and tie on, although the look was ruined slightly by their monstrous beer-bellys. I noticed they all wore the colour blue.

To my left were 2 "ladies" wearing what can only be described as "loose clothing". One was very short and didnt appear to be able to talk, while the other was more chatty, however she was talking to a dog, who was also wearing clothes. Very strange I thought.

As i supped on my low quality beverage I noticed a sign with the title "Bettys Kitchen". Previous reviews of the pub stated that the pub had no food or kitchen facilities. So i ordered the "Chefs Special" to try it out. Soon afterwards I was promptly served at my table by a large, fat and rather sweaty man. On my table he placed a large tray of sandwiches, including corned beef and tomato, as well as cheese and pickle. I was also given a side order of Bombay Mix. The mix itself was palatable but the sandwiches were dry and tasted overly salty.

So would I come to the Clachan again, most probably not.

Ratings:

Service - 1/10 (Snarling Leather-Skinned Barmaid)

Decor - 3/10 (Retro 70s)

Toilets - 2/10 (Cubile unavailable on 2 occasions)

Food - 0/10

Drinks - 2/10 (Flat with strange odour)

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