"Windowless Pub - Back For More"

A review of The Clachan Bar by East End Booze Bag written on Saturday 26th of May 2018

It had been 6 years since my last visit to the Clachan Bar, a traditional pub situated on Baillieston Road in Garrowhill. My return visit was made on a Friday evening.

The first think I noticed was the stark increase in the cost of a pint. A whopping £3.40 for a pint of Tennents lager compared to £2.85 last time round. However the main obstacle I had to overcome was actually getting served.

"Its after 10 o'clock, have you been in the Barrachnie?" shouted the barman. I explained I had just got the number 2 from the city centre and after a 30 minute heated exchange I was allowed to stay in the pub, but only just.

I took my seat next to a very large speaker that was playing Take That on a loop for what seemed like eternity. When the Karaoke man appeared he looked a little worse for wear. The first act up was a very drunken, bearded man who proceeded to destroy David Bowie's "Starman". However, he received a thunderous applause from the locals, who seemed impressed with his levels of inebriation, as was I.

At this moment entered two ladies, who had a look of familiarity, walked into the lounge with a pram. I thought it odd that they would be out for a walk with a baby as this hour. My concerns were soon quashed when I realised it was a small dog in the pram, thank goodness.

I returned to the bar for a 2nd drink when I noticed the gentleman to my right had ordered 2 half pints for himself.

"Wouldn't you be as well getting a pint", I said.

"I drink half pints".

"But why?" I asked.

"Cos am Wullie two halves ya dick".

"Oh", I said.

I was starting to remember why I hadn't frequented the Clachan for 6 years.

Although the pub has been recently renovated, there was something else that had changed. I found it hard to put my finger on it, but then it hit me. Where had she gone?

"Could you tell me where the barmaid that used to work here is?" I asked. Only to be met with "What wan?” "The scowling, dark skinned woman, possibly Shi Lankan or Romany Gypsy, Around 60 years of age", I said. "Oh you mean Jackie? She's owan the sick, has been for 9 months. But ah canny say any more so don't bother askin"

And with that I was on my way. In terms of an overall rating I would say the Clachan is bad verging on awful. On the plus side it is pet friendly and anyone is allowed to sing. I wonder if "Jackie" will be back when I next visit..

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